Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
