There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
