just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
