Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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