girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
