we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize