i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
false alarm, still single
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