Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance

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  (816): In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance http://tfl.nu/nm0w
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (631)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

  (509): View more from Washington

  and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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  (509): you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin (509): and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD" http://tfl.nu/lw4q
  Replies (37) Good night (3837) Bad night (756)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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  (401): and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping http://tfl.nu/w61z
  Replies (18) Good night (1186) Bad night (5020)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

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  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (2054) Bad night (914)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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  (703): the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression http://tfl.nu/ti0p
  Replies (30) Good night (1359) Bad night (3908)
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  (310): View more from California

  When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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  (310): When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing. http://tfl.nu/i23j
  Replies (16) Good night (3170) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.

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  (484): Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that. http://tfl.nu/p43x
  Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (2232)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  I'm not even gonna ask.

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  (406): Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you. (1-406): I'm not even gonna ask. http://tfl.nu/42tt
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it

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  (561): There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it http://tfl.nu/iil4
  Replies (8) Good night (1307) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.

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  (781): You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/nrl0
  Replies (11) Good night (1659) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.

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  (202): It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks. (202): I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to. http://tfl.nu/wpl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1583) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us

  (845): View more from New York

  I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god

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  (845): The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us (845): I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god http://tfl.nu/vq2q
  Replies (1) Good night (1092) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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  (716): So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans... http://tfl.nu/4fn7
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend

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  (+31): Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/3jzb
  Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (507)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?

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  (505): you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...? http://tfl.nu/tcmz
  Replies (0) Good night (304) Bad night (353)

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