Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
