Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less

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  (586): Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less http://tfl.nu/ah1z
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (1395)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1513) Bad night (494)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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  (973): i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex. http://tfl.nu/uspy
  Replies (13) Good night (2907) Bad night (576)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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  (419): this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children http://tfl.nu/wdp5
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (3527)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (6929) Bad night (751)
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  (310): View more from California

  I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.

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  (310): I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid. http://tfl.nu/amso
  Replies (58) Good night (1418) Bad night (8849)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.

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  (678): Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous. http://tfl.nu/26wz
  Replies (2) Good night (3263) Bad night (705)
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  (619): View more from California

  FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??

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  (619): FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight?? http://tfl.nu/oa1o
  Replies (2) Good night (2188) Bad night (934)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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  (608): All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college. http://tfl.nu/h1fv
  Replies (0) Good night (1808) Bad night (765)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.

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  (316): She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public. http://tfl.nu/5b68
  Replies (3) Good night (1362) Bad night (390)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?

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  (816): Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone? http://tfl.nu/wu6u
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (359)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?

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  (320): how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back? http://tfl.nu/ycg3
  Replies (13) Good night (971) Bad night (288)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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  (307): Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed http://tfl.nu/7csc
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (239)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.

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  (305): Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home. http://tfl.nu/dxz5
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (210)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold

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  (701): And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold http://tfl.nu/d5yp
  Replies (8) Good night (1099) Bad night (252)

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