Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
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I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"