Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

Fav 7 1440 1992
share tweet
(805): View more from California

his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk

Fav 101 950 14500
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

Fav 15 4888 1631
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.

Fav 18 4279 1276
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

Fav 29 4205 1778
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

Fav 3 3089 1033
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.

Fav 7 4056 1034
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

Fav 7 616 1234
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.

Fav 1 61 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT