508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
