Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize