I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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