I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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