Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
