If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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