i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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