Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize