i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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