i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You can't just leave with hair like that
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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