Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left an ass print on the piano.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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