Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
