I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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