so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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