I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
