There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
