You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
