its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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