We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
