I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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