Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
