Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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