We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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