i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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