you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
