He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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