We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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