just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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