Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
