Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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