You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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