I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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