does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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