We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
