I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
