? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
