I think I just saw someone hide a body.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
