she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
