plz talk dirty to me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
