Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.