It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?