you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not