i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
