take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
