No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
