ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
