There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I skipped work to stalk him.
they need to just BURY HIM!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
