Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize