I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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