Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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