Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
