I want to stick my p in your. b.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize